I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
