she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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