Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
