If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
