What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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