Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize