I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How naked do you want me to be?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
