My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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