I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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