i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
