The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
