so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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