We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize