Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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