and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
