I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize