Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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