I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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