I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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