she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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