new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
