It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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