I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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