Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
