Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
