I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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