I can feel you judging me through the phone.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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