she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
