Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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