God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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