The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
