he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize