As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
