i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
