Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
