if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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