I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
