meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My pussy is not your playground.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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