so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
