I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize