apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
