You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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