my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
