Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
