Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
