I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
