I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
