i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
