is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
