Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
