I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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