One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
honey bunches of taint.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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