why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
