I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
