i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
