hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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