i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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