mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
