oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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