Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
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My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
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Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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