Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
did you just send me my own nude
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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