Little spoons don't ask big questions
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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