You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize