How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
