Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize