Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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