dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
