Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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