Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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