I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Two words: nipple clamps
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